Kinderhaven - Director's Dialogue

Kinderhaven Preschool Academy

Classes for children
2½ through 5½ years of age

Compassion Projects
Human beings need to feel that they are essential to the well-being of the world. This is a basic human need for mental and emotional health. Children, from an early age, enjoy knowing that they have “helped” others in some fashion. We believe in a world where compassion and giving back are at the very heart; therefore, “compassion projects” are interwoven throughout our students’ lives while attending KPA. Read about our projects!

This last years projects!
Erase Hate Project (8k - 1 page)
Giving Tree Project (9k - 1 page)

Why do we do it?

Explanation (12k-2 pgs)

Read about compassion with your child!

Books List (8k-1 pg)

I find myself wondering where the time is going. I now know what my mother meant when she said, “The older you get, the faster time goes!” Here we are at the beginnings of March with only three more months of school, and I feel like we have just gotten started! The children have grown so much throughout these past several months, and I cannot believe how close we are to sending them to the next grade level.

The classes have been thoroughly invested in their interests for several weeks, and the work they have been doing has been amazing! The Red Class continues with their Dale Chihuly art projects, abstract art and the internal workings of houses. They have created some gorgeous individual and group projects that they will proudly display at the art show, and they have been studying some very interesting parts of houses—namely, the sewer, plumbing and electricity. It’s been fun! The Blue Class has continued their interest in castles and knights. They have learned how castles were constructed and are currently invested in “coat of arms.” They have loved examining books about castles, and loved learning about all of their locations. The Purple Class has come alive with their “heart” study. They learned how a stethoscope works, and why it’s important to take care of their hearts. They even examined a real pig’s heart, and they made their own hearts out of clay. Such fantastic projects!

Thank you to all of the room parents for putting on such fun Valentine’s Day parties in each classroom! The children had so much fun! Also, I want to thank the Nutrition Parents for coming up with such great nutrition lessons, and Super Snack is always yummy! Thanks for your efforts.

How can we make sense of the tragedies that have struck this community over the past few months? How can we figure out why two young boys, barely in their teenage years, would chose death over the prospect of living another day? It’s heart-breaking, and it truly causes me feel weak and inept. Was there something that the adults of the world didn’t know and couldn’t see?

In the throes of grief, I have heard so many Lake Forest adults asking these types of questions, and they are good questions to ask. It is important that tragedies don’t just remain tragedies; they must be moved into a light of learning and growth. So, it is common to ask serious questions when horrendous tragedies occur. What is more important, however, is to be willing to hear, understand and respond to the answers that may arise.

Of course, there is no way to truly know why someone in the very beginnings of his life chooses to end it, especially so tragically. But, there are ways to open ourselves to our children, so that they know, that no matter how horrible their lives may seem, or how scared they may become, or how much they feel alienated from their family or friends or peers, that we are here and ready to love and listen with all we have. I know that this may seem like an obvious answer, but it really is so very complicated. Children know how their parents feel, what they value, and what their expectations are for them. This, then, makes the open and honest dialogue that much more difficult for everyone involved. As much as our children might want to talk with us, they are very aware of the reactions their questions, fears and comments might bring. Unfortunately, our children need more than a closed door when they are looking for an open window. Sometimes they need information or ideas or hope, and we, as parents, educators, mentors, and adult friends need to open that window, so the children know that they have a safe place to question, confide, create and be who they truly believe they are. Not such an easy task…

We want our children to have values and morals. We want them to have belief systems and solid ideas. We want them to understand boundaries and limits, to have respect for others. We also, however, want them to feel safe, to feel free to tell us when they are confused or scared. We want to help them when they are in despair or feel hopeless. Therefore, we have to allow ourselves to be less judgmental and more willing to really be the sounding board they need. Establishing open, honest and trusting lines of communication with our children at early ages will allow them to feel that maybe, just maybe, Mom or Dad or Grandpa or Grandma or my teacher or coach really does care what I have to say and she or he can really help me out of a jam. Having family nights where each person shares a part of his or her day, allowing each person in a family to involve the others in something that is important to him or her, talking around a dinner table, having intimate discussions with each child as you put them to bed, giving each child a date once a week or every other week with you, providing an adult mentor that you trust for you child—these are all ways to keep your window open to the trials and tribulations each child inevitably faces. It gives them an advantage in the face of the roller coaster that life often is.

Also, we as adults need to be reminded that children are listening, watching, and mimicking what we do, how we handle conflict, what we do with our relationships, what prejudices we have, and what we hold most dear. Children need stability and routine. They need to know that even when adults argue and disagree, that they still love and respect one another. They need to know that even if we have a difference of opinion or make different life choices that we can make room for that in our lives. With over 50% of American marriages ending in divorce, we cannot make our children immune from that situation. We can, however, make sure that our children know at all times that their parents still love them and will always put their needs first. Too often parental conflict means that the child doesn’t even feel safe in his or her own home, let alone in the relationships he or she has with each parent. It is our jobs as adults to create safety and love for the children in our lives, whether they are ours or we are caring for them as other adults in their lives. So, even in the midst of a divorce or parental conflict, the adults must be just that—adults. Children need to see that even in the tangles of relationships gone wrong, that they will be ok and never trapped between two forces that they love and want to please.

None of this is easy or fool-proof. Life does not come with guarantees nor does a child come with instructions on how to make him or her happy and well-adjusted. Parenting, teaching and mentoring is gut-wrenching, 24-hours-a-day work that requires us to be more of an adult than we ever thought possible. It requires us to walk through fire with our children, holding their hands even when we want to bolt, letting them know they are loved even in their most unlovable moments, and believing that together you and your child can weather anything that life may throw at you. It’s teaching your child that the world is a big, wonderful place, filled with a variety of people and variety of opportunities. So, practice being open, listening, not just with your ears, but also with your heart. Tell them that you will always love them, always be there for them, and help them through even the roughest times in their lives. Practice unconditional love, because our children need it now more than ever and practice makes perfect.